you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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