and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
Randomize
