my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
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