the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
