brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize
