I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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