This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
Randomize
