I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
I said "one day" and that day is not today
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
Randomize
