Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Randomize