Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
Green mimosas i think yes
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
Randomize
