four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
