and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Randomize
