Why did I cab home last night?
Because you said you were drunk, sad, and someone called you a hooker.
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Randomize
