You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Randomize
