I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
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