i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
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