suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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