I woke up wearing no shirt sleeping next to a half-eaten grilled cheese.
Well did you call the grilled cheese yet? Or r u waiting the usual 3 days?
I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
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