i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
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