What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
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