Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
Randomize
