Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
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