i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Randomize