You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
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