This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
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