we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Randomize
