Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
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