Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
Randomize
