the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
Randomize
