I heard we made out
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
Randomize
