you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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