why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
Randomize
