Well douche your snatch and let's go!
he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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