Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Randomize
