definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
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