he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
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