She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize
