Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
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