I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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