I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
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