it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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