Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
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