now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Randomize
