well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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