she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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