No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
Gay?
German.
Pity.
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
