sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
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