you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
