Christians are straight up FREAKS
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
Randomize
