Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
you will always have a special place in my vag
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
I deserve this hangover.
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
